Marifran Korb

MY RELATIONSHIP WITH CANCER: Part 1

by on Nov.13, 2010, under Random Writings on Relationship

As with any relationship, this one continues to evolve.  Surprises occur, some I like and some I don’t.  Cancer doesn’t care about my opinion.  It just is.  Or is it?  One thing I know for sure: I’m in this to learn.  This crash course in life has provided enormous opportunities to widen my scope.

No advanced doctorate degree could be more intense.  My cancer education has been on a physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual scale.

It started with a routine chest CT scan six months ago.  The radiology department had scanned from chest to kidneys.  Three weeks after the scan, I managed to get an appointment to hear the scan results. “Look, you’ve got cancer in both kidneys,” exclaimed my pulmonologist.  Excitedly, she pointed to a screen with black, gray and white marks on it.  I took her word for it. Not sharing her enthusiasm, I didn’t react.

There was no time to talk about my lungs on that visit. Rather, there was a flurry of activity around scheduling an abdomen scan to see the kidney more clearly. Within a week it was confirmed that I needed a specialist.

My history kept me calm and objective.  In 1991, I had been diagnosed with lung cancer. I had been coughing up blood from my lungs, something that was not new.  After a CT scan, the pulmonologist at the time, told me I needed surgery to remove my whole right lung.  I took the CT scan to a second pulmonologist who said: “Yes, it could be cancer. And with your lungs, the surgery could kill you.”

Since I said no to that first diagnosing doctor in 1991, he actually called my husband and enrolled him in the idea of surgery for me.  Figuring I could die if I did, or die if I didn’t, I refused.  Nothing bad happened as a result.

With that experience in my background, I decided not to worry about anything until I knew for sure.  The thought of having two cancerous kidneys would at times shock my mind, and I would remind myself that I did not have any physical pain. I knew I had to focus on the possibility the CT scan was wrong.

:, , , ,

3 Comments for this entry

  • Rosemary Molloy

    Good, GOOD intro. I had almost forgotten that your writing is so clear, honest, and absorbing to read. Look forward to more.
    It’s simply incredible that you were given that wrong lung cancer diagnoses–no wonder you’re not rushing into surgery!
    Hope you don’t mind if I link to this on my FB page.
    With love always, cuz.

  • Phebe

    Marifran,

    I’m so proud of your sharing these profound experiences so publically!

    Phebe

  • Marifran

    Hi Phebe,
    Thank you so much. It is not easy to share this.
    Joy,
    Marifran

Leave a Reply