Marifran Korb

My Relationship With Cancer, Part 14

by on Dec.30, 2013, under Overcoming Cancer

Due to irreconcilable differences, the surgeon and I parted ways. A week ago, I met with my urologist surgeon for a consultation so I could ask questions. My husband Ed attended the meeting and neither of us liked what we heard.

The main disagreement was that Dr. W. planned to remove my adrenal gland along with the kidney. Never did he reveal that until I asked about it. He insisted I don’t need the adrenal gland since I have two. I said I want to keep it to help my lungs. Without acknowledging my point, he said: “I don’t want to be bothered with that little thing.”

Though I did not say that the adrenal gland was a deal breaker for me, immediately I did say I would have to reconsider the surgery. Dr. W. seemed unconcerned about my hesitation.

Though I had told him of the COPD that I’ve had since age 14, the surgeon said he wasn’t doing anything different for my lungs during the three hours of surgery since he “can’t imagine any problem.” He did not talk to the pulmonologist as I requested. There’s more, but those were the most problematic issues.

It is sobering to realize that surgeons can do things without your permission. They can justify it and get away with it. Had I not read about the frequency of kidney surgeries resulting in loss of the adrenal gland, I would never have known. Whenever I would discover it, the damage would have been done and it would be too late. Then the surgeon can say: “I was only trying to protect you.” I want to have the choice to say yes or no to the risk. I want to be included in the decision, so that if the adrenal gland is fine, I want it saved.

Hoping to bridge the gap between the surgeon and me, my daughter Ilona spoke to the doctor. She quoted a study that said if a kidney tumor is less than 8 cm, the adrenal gland should remain in the body. Dr. W. said he knew of the study and he thought the tumor could spread to the adrenal gland anyway, despite my smaller than 4 cm tumor. In other words, he knew better than the study and he would do as he pleased. His real motivation came when he spontaneously said to me: “I don’t want to be bothered …”

Already I had been through many pre-op tests this month, including a nuclear scan, and a CT scan with contrast that I drank and contrast in my veins. After seeing the surgeon, I cancelled the pre-op blood tests. Interestingly, I had scheduled lung function tests for this morning. The pulmonologist got sick and it was rescheduled for January 9. If I were still planning on surgery, I would need the lung function tests and it would be very difficult to schedule them before the surgery date of January 6. The lung function tests would have determined definitively whether or not my lungs could handle the surgery.

Looking forward to having this all over with, I was prepared to be recovering for three months. Totally, I was ready to put all the searching, all the questioning, and all the recovering behind me so I could greet the spring with a new tumor-free body.

Yet, I have to see everything that happens as part of my path to wellness. All I know for sure is I will not be having surgery next week. While I sort out what my next move is, I am as surprised as you about the twists and turns in this story.

Clear that I am making the right decision in this moment, I eagerly await what opens up next. Meanwhile plenty of parties are planned for New Years Eve and New years Day. I will enjoy them all. Wishing each of you a healthy and happy 2014.

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8 Comments for this entry

  • Rosemary Molloy

    Wise, wise decision, dear Marifran. If you don’t have confidence in your surgeon, you must find another. All good thoughts and love to you.

  • Sheila Krichman

    Marifran:

    Good for you for insisting on keeping all your parts and pieces. I am so sorry that you are going through “doctor hell”, but I have no doubt that you have every molecule of strength, research and persistence to stand up for what you want and achieve a full cure. One day at a time, one minute at a time, one moment at a time.
    Envision finding a doctor you like and trust and can work with. One will appear. I am holding you in my heart and thoughts and prayers. With every wish for good health, rapid recovery and an excellent 2014. Love, Sheila K

  • blaise

    Hi Marifran,

    You absolutely did the right thing firing that MDeity! Glad you trusted your self talk and stood in your truth. Cheering for you from S.FL! Enjoy your parties and Happy New Year!

  • Ary Bruno

    Good for you, Marifran!
    I have had to have surgeries, etc. (although for different reasons) and am contemplating more. The main thing I have learned is that, if your doctor does not treat you as a whole person, (with a brain and choices of your own); if you and your doctor/surgeon do not feel like an harmonious team, respecting and honest with each other, the best thing to do is tell the doc straight up: “Thanks, but no thanks.”
    This is an incredibly intimate relationship as far as trust and intent go. If you do not feel in perfect agreement with the surgeon you have, GET ANOTHER, ASAP.
    This is YOUR LIFE. Trust it only to a surgeon who cares about it and your concerns as much as you do. I would run as fast as possible from any surgeon who makes it so clear that he is most concerned with HIS convenience, not your concerns and life.
    Touche for you!

  • Tanna

    Hi Marifran darling! So sorry you’re going through this! Hearing a doctor say, “I can’t be bothered with [your concern that’s valid enough to ask about!]…” would be good enough for me to fire that jerkwad. Hugs, hugs and more hugs to you. Tanna

  • Nancy Broermann

    Marifran, you teach us the most powerful lesson and that is to listen and trust yourself and stay on your path. Big hugs to you and to your family.

  • Nancy Broermann

    Marifran,
    You teach us the most important lesson of all: listen and trust yourself! 2014 brings new life, ideas and thoughts. Love to you and to your family.

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